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This true story is from the Iceman Diaries

My friend Al had been going out with Tracey for 7 years. They were not married but as good as. One day he comes home early from his troubled dry-cleaning business to find Tracey in his bed asleep. Nothing wrong with that, huh? Well next to Tracey was a guy Al had never seen.

Al was not a violent man so he just asked her what was going on. She said the guy was just a friend. It took 3 of us guys that evening to convince Al that his Tracey was cheating on him. He didn't want to believe it. Who could blame him. The poor guy was working like a dog mostly to feed Tracey's shopping appetite. Seems like she had developed an appetite for other goods too.

I don't do drugs

Most of the guys in the gym were doing some sort of drugs. Whether it was steroids, ephedrine, GH or grass, it was all drugs to me. Grass (Cannabis) had always been a no-no to me. I just couldn't understand why someone would try building muscles and then undo the whole thing by either drinking alcohol or smoking grass.

Cannabis is a well-known estrogen promoter. If you are trying to build muscles, then you really want to stay away from estrogen. It will put your muscle building progress back big time. Ever seen a regular smoker of cannabis with a muscular body? Most are skinny.

Back in those days I was seriously into my training. Even if I wasn't, I doubt I would ever touch the stuff. Almost all my mates were smoking grass but not me. No sir. I was a 100% pure and dedicated body builder.

Let's cheer Al up

Al was down. I mean he was DOWN. His girl who had previously been banging at him about making money was now banging another guy. Guess she liked banging! Al needed some cheering up so we all decided to take him to the Big A – Amsterdam. The land of all things fun.

Our arrival in Amsterdam was marked by a visit to a small coffee-shop. The 6 of us started drinking, smoking and having fun (I was drinking water and taking in other people's smoke – unwillingly I may add).

Al was not exactly having a laugh. He was tense and feeling sorry for himself. Ed decided to buy him a “Special Amsterdam Coffee”. The normal looking cup arrived but Al didn't want it. I don't think he realised how “special” this coffee was. Now that I look back, none of us did.

We all decided to head on over to the next place. As we were walking out, I noticed that the coffee was still there and so I gulped it down. Why not? It was just a cup of coffee with a little extra zing and no point wasting it.

Al and I went back to our hotel room. All was well. He was feeling a bit more happy and thinking less of Tracey.

The chicken saga

We decided to go for a bite to eat. As we walked out of the hotel, I noticed that everything had shifted the other way round. The doors that were on the left had moved to the right and our pavement had shifted to the other side of the road! Weird.

I was feeling more and more strange. Thank god the restaurant was close.

Al and I both ordered the chicken breast. As it arrived I noticed that Al's chicken was bigger than mine. How dare he! I was getting real pissed. On top of that, every time I would put a piece in my mouth it seemed like I had already eaten that piece and I was repeating the same act.

After a while I could no longer take it. I started shouting at Al.
“Why is your chicken bigger than mine?” I demanded.
“What?” Al was puzzled.
“Why you got a bigger chicken? You think you're something special 'cause your girl is a slut?” The whole restaurant was now our audience.
“Take it easy man.” Al didn't know what to do.
“Take it easy my ass. You son of a bitch.” I grabbed Al and started pulling him outside. This was my body building heyday and I was strong. Boy was I strong! Al didn't stand a chance.
I dragged Al outside and started laying into him. I can't remember what happened next. I just remember talking to Ed on the phone who was instructing me to go back to the hotel room and wait there for him.

Back at the hotel Al was understandably staying away from me. The strange thing was that I was not upset. If anything I was feeling very happy for no reason at all. Ed arrived and turned the TV on. He found a comedy programme with Omid Jalili. I had never found him that funny but now, boy was he hilarious.

I stayed up all night watching comedies and laughing, I was laughing at anything. Somehow I felt like I didn't want to sleep. I thought if I did, I would never wake up. I laughed the whole night away. I don't think Al was laughing though. He went to bed.

The lost trip

I would like to tell you what happened the next morning. I can't. I can't because I don't remember. In fact I don't remember anything about the next 3 days of the trip.

When we got back I apologised to Al for what I did. It was really out of character. Ed reckons the “special coffee” didn't just have cannabis in it. He was certain it had some sort of LSD as well. Whatever it was, I had a bad reaction to it and this is the whole point. There are no guarantees when it comes to drugs. One person can be OK and another can flip like me.

I never did any drugs before the coffee in Amsterdam and never did again. They are not for me. I know it.

I still see Al as we occasionally go out for a bite to eat. He never orders chicken.